Wim Hof method and panic attacks - my experience.

Let's face it - hyperventilation and then excessive breath holding - doesn't seem a good idea for a person who already has panic attacks. But, I came to understand that there was no way I could rationalise or even accept the feelings, as a way out of panic.  Panic is a body thing, and the bit of my mind that is responsible - doesn't speak English.

The unconscious mind is fast, it has to be. 

When I was triggered in class by a really subtle cue, I knew there was no way I could de-associate because I wouldn't have expected that just seeing on screen someone with dilated pupils would suddenly cause my body to react in that way! The library of things that could be a threat according to my non-verbal mind, could never be gone through and decoupled by thinking. My day-light, word mind didn't speak the language. And though certainly a panic attack is a two step process, the flood of adrenaline, and then the conscious mind reacting with dismay and bewilderment - the best answer - to simply breathe through didn't touch it, and I'd truly had enough of it.

Breathing through and remaining outwardly calm just makes everyone else feel better, and avoids you being sectioned.

No cure.

I wanted the direct root.

I wanted the cure.

I wanted to talk to panic and let it know that it wasn't protecting me.

But panic, the body, doesn't speak in words.

Scott Carney explains how something like the Wim Hof Method can be used to reconfigure panic, in his book The Wedge. 

Something - a wedge -  has to get between the deep, physical reaction of the autonomic nervous system, and the secondary, cognitive hijack. My 'wedge' is the Wim Hof Method as 'Ceremony and Experience'. It has the potential to create altered states of mind - and that component may well be vital in allowing someone to reconfigure the associations between how panic feels, and their reaction to it.

Anyway, my experience of WHM was a mix; there was deep peace, there was actually being able to sleep (finally!) There were  also the flashbacks and it could be tough to continue. I believed the flashbacks told me I was heading in the right direction - because they were not being triggered by the external world. I regarded this kind of experiencing as like EMDR. The presence showed I was close to the location of panic, and each flashback in the context of WHM, was panic getting processed.

WHM  causes the brain-stem to send increasingly loud signals to the conscious mind to tell it to DO SOMETHING (this is physical panic). But the conscious brain can reply with confidence that the situation is totally safe, and thank the brain-stem for being able to take over should 'I' pass out! Visualising the brain-stem as a little crocodile, and the conscious mind as soothing it, is truly 'self-care'.

My theory is, putting oneself into 'safe panic; creates a strong communication between the sensation of physical overwhelm and trust in oneself. And incidentally it creates a greater awareness, a more accurate interoception, and this allows me to override the panic.  Now the signal stops before the melt down occurs. 

Huberman explains this in terms of Von Economo neurons in the posterior part of the insula, whatever! The communication has to be opened through experience. And WHM breathing and cold exposure, certainly are about calming the crocodile.

Anyway, starting WHM (November 2021 I think) has been one of the best decisions I've ever made! And I know I take the benefits for granted, I have got used to the bliss of after a cold shower - the bliss that follows the breathing though, that still takes me by surprise because it doesn't happen every time (shower bliss is every time :)

So, that's my experience of WHM - I find myself bored of doing it sometimes, but i still do it. I come up with excuses, like there isn't enough time...but I don't listen to that because it worked when I needed it.

And I don't remember how hard it was to do 30 seconds of cold water every morning - now I just think 'do I have to' and do it. 

Remaining calm and in control is core to WHM. So why is this different to calm 'box breathing' when a panic attack occurs? I assume that the difference is that cold water and breath holds are a safe enough, danger. The crocodile has something real and physical to work with, I don't think it speaks in symbols.