So there is but fire In you, in me?

I am beginning to see the importance of keeping this blog. At the time, the process of writing was my security blanket, my game of let's pretend other people will recognize their feelings reflected within my words. My writing at those times was to say - this is survivable, I am surviving this. And now when I look back - I've recently put together posts from other blogs and retired the originals - I can remember how difficult things have been, but also how brave I was to dare put those awful experiences, and sometimes they were experiences of pure horror; into words. The belief that tragedy can be memorialized so that it may be celebrated, is my 'North Star', This is why I don't use a concept of past trauma as something to be understood to get to healing. A process of understanding  can be derailed by the power of recognition . And a  therapist who doesn't know how to go beyond this  absorption  - as experiences are suddenly reorganized around the new understan

If my client arrives today, it will be her last session. And mine. Unless she cancels? And that means that today is my last day of a job I've done for almost two years. Not over forever I hope.  But the money has run out. We offered - note past tense - 'free at point of service' brief counselling. Apparently there may be funding to coach and mentor kids facing exam stress. There will be a short course to get us up to speed in how to do this.  But the idea makes me want to run screaming! So that leaves me with my private work, and my unpaid placement clients (for the Diploma in Integrative Therapy) only 33 hours of placement left...The next hoop to jump through is accreditation, then try and get a paid therapy job somewhere... Free at point of use is how therapy should be, with a trained and paid therapist. Most 'Free at point of use' is going to be with an unpaid trainee.  This is not fair, nor is it good practice - to say 'well, you are being paid in experience