I need a hand to hold, and so I write.

I will begin to write again. In pain drenched letters, with a heavy heart. Our family is whole, my husband, my children - no one died. 

But we are splintering and fractured and it is almost too much to bear.

I've been looking at the work of Claire Weeks. 

An immensely sensible person who described the effects of prolonged stress, the 'sensitization' of nerves, and the way adrenaline and then endorphins - well no, Claire doesn't mention endorphins, but they are now understood as playing a part in the maintenance of severe anxiety - how adrenaline and then thinking about stressful things, and then reacting to the feeling of stress, and also having to go 'cold turkey' when stress is over and you no longer get that hit of endogenous morphine...can take even the sanest person down.

So now its my turn.
And this is just about the hardest and the worst period of my life right now...

I need a hand to hold, and so I write.