End of the line.

 It feels like I'm being dramatic, and selfish, and really am I not meant to be better than this? But the reality is, all I can feel is the pain.

His suicide attempt, his psychosis, all of it will conclude as me...having to give up my course. It is a practical course, I'd be out of the house on placement...I don't see how that will be possible.

At the moment I'm struggling through my last assignment, feeling that really...why should I bother. But ultimately, my mind doesn't work like that. I will bother, I will get it done.

Ex service user is now, service user. Detained under a section 2. It's a better 'ward' somehow, probably because he is one of, or possibly the most troubled person there. Before he was too sane, and fractured straight from hospital. This time it's ok.

Once the medication begins though, and he is home. Still saying the same stuff, still as convinced, but with the Parkinson's symptoms etc....I literally have no hope of finishing my course, or feeling that things will improve.

I'm just going to have to suck it up and remember how to ride flame...