Armadillo.

 As I sat in the living room next door, I could hear my computer being broken...The damage wasn't as bad as it sounded. Basically computers are pretty tough; just keys missing off my keyboard, no right click on the mouse, and the entry port for the headphone socket must be damaged in some way.

So I got myself a a laptop with a gamer quality GeForce card, and a new mouse that possibly glows octurine..It is imperative to my sanity that I can run around the 'Endless Forest' as a sweet little deer, and problem solve in Portal games, run around madly in Quake 3 and threaten myself with wading through Half Life (everything after the first game).

My laptop is splendid.
And I just downloaded a meditation thing, (PLAYNE)  where I 'sit' in a different forest by a campfire. I think I have to click the mouse each time a thought crosses my mind! So basically if I don't follow my thoughts, the sun rises and the trees grow, I will see...

The laptop enables me to lock myself away, ignore the sound of screaming and things being broken and get my assignments done.

Of course the shiny new laptop isn't the whole story. This morning I felt like I was wading through black mud, unable to speak, unable to think. I made the breakfast - same as in Friday - listening to the memories of how it began.

It was totally out of the blue.

Impressions: one of the first was discomfort and an awareness that I was holding a knife, slicing orange. 

Next, I knew he was going to push over the workbench; and it is really heavy...

Then I remembered him swinging the kitchen stool. 

I remember my phone in my hand and him going for me...

All this as I'm slicing orange again.

I didn't ask if he wanted breakfast, as if that would break the spell.

The laptop meant I could lock myself away.

At some point I'm going to have to start writing about what works...

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