Event horizon

 Apparently images of what has gone 'beyond' remain fixed, like ghosts, on the event horizon. No one has seen this? But it is a pretty good metaphor, and I can't think of a better one. For memory...

In many ways I have no idea what has happened.

In theory, I was there.

In theory a set of linear events unfolded one after another in a chain.

Link after link, each one caused by the other.

My memory is like the event horizon.

What happened is gone beyond.

The ghostly remains are empty...

Yet mark a line between where I am, divided between functional word-smithing, and silent, dumb experiencing.

Regards actuality, events marked by text messages for instance...

My younger daughter thought to rescue Josh - and to that end, bought train tickets. 

But younger daughter wont talk or communicate with us

And after what happened at the hospital I'm not inclined to try to reach out.

She is over thirty years of age, and she has the honor of being one of the few people in this world who I believe truly owes me an apology. Enough of the 'silent, dumb experiencing' already. Most of why ex-Service User is in this pickle is that he isn't thinking, just feeling! She is doing the same. It leads nowhere good.

As daughter couldn't bear to see me she had got someone to help her in her plan...

What ever, I just asked him not to.

I mean what was she going to do with Josh?

Give up her job, or just leave him to scream alone while she was out?

Oh I guess 'get him psychiatric help' since she seems to believe that there is actually some kind of help to be found!

So my daughter imagined that they could travel to Glasgow on a train?!

Last time we took a trip out - Josh began screaming.

By the time I had got to the service station to turn around I was hyper-ventilating and watching fear and panic begin to take hold of me. 

Flash back from the last time...

Answer, put Covenant on fairly loud and drive home.

Back home it escalated.

Mostly I put this down to the awfulness of the day before...

And it got so bad that husband called the crisis team...

And they said?

We could phone the police, or go to A+E.

So...that kind of answers that one...

And now it is Thursday...