If we don't get him to take his meds...

It is hard to like the word
Rationalization

It's a word I don't trust.

But I guess it is where we are.
We are at rationalization

A kind of Ground Zero.

My rationalization is this.
I can't take the pressure the mental health team have put us under.
The equation - Service User takes his medication or we section him
Is too much for me.

I believe there is a tipping point between anxiety fixating on something and becoming a cover story, a way to avoid the discomfort of reality that can shift a person away from eccentric and into dysfunctional mad.

And that is where Service User has got himself.

He struggled on.
Avoiding the real issue.
And tipped.
Anxiety rendered his hippocampus unable to do what a hippocampus does.

He was functionally demented.

But the hippocampus recovers.
Slowly
When the cause of anxiety is gone...
Enough days without adrenaline and he will recover

And Service User began to..

And then the sectioning and pressure to take the SSIs.

It rolls around his personal sky like a thundercloud...
Through us.

I personally cannot take the reality of what sectioning means.
It is demeaning.
Dehumanizing.
And
Logic dictates
If we don't get him to take his meds he is sectioned.
I can't bear it.
No
Really!

Psychologically I'm a mess....
I am beginning to lose my ability to think
Can't concentrate...

So we pass the pressure on to him
Again.

He no longer believes the meds will kill him
But he doesn't want to take them.
I'm unable to support that because the risk of sectioning is too great.
I have to look after me.

Why isn't sectioning set at 'serious risk to self or others'?
How can a section 2 be justified by, non-compliance?

So the relationship between Service User and his parents is in tatters again.
Which isn't good for anyone...

It isn't like me to regret things, I rarely regret decisions but taking Service User to hospital that day was the wrong thing to do.

Seriously.

We took him because we didn't know any better. Since then we have experienced a sharp learning curve...the model I'm using is based on respect for the person, and trust that kindness, listening alongside reality testing, is the only way to proceed.

Slowly
With confidence...

The rationalization though
That he has to take the medication as a way to get rid of them...
Is the most honest and truthful explanation of why I'm pressurizing him..
Plus the fact that I'm broken.

Means I'm sobbing uncontrollably pleading with him to take the tablet.